4 Ways to Deal with Acne

Acne is a problem for a lot of people. One morning (usually some time after fifth grade), you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror only to notice you've managed to grow some pretty impressive pimples. It's so bad, they make your face look like a pool party in the middle of summer... only the water is actually oils your own body is mass producing in a sorry attempt at getting rid of the party crashers in your pores.

That's right... party crashers.

Why am I talking about this? Maybe because recently I was asked something that came across a bit sexist. Even though I know the person who said it didn't intend for it to be sexist... Anyway... I was asked, "Hey, you're a woman... How do you deal with zits?"

Acne is something that can affect pretty much anyone however, and according to all the online medical websites I read so I could type this and sound smarter than I am, acne predominantly will affect men. I'm not here to write about how you should use this or that medical brand thing to deal with your acne. If it is bad enough, or a constant presence in your life, I recommend seeing a dermatologist who can recommend the right over-the-counter medicine or give you a prescription to help deal with it.

For those reading this who don't need a doctor at this point (although I recommend not putting it off if it is bad) you can try

The What I Do Solution 
Needed items:

• soap that isn't harsh on the skin, 
• fresh warm water,
• gentle lotion
  
  wet face with warm water, lather soap on face, wash soap off face with water before bed 5-7 times per week as well as after potentially greasy meals like fast food.
  
  dry face with clean towel, gently rub small amounts of lotion on face
  
  wash pillowcase more frequently

If you are anything like me and you don't have a serious zit problem, this should work for you. Mostly I seem to get them when dirt gets into my pores. Warm water will open your pores more and help the soap clear things up. But the soap will get rid of good body oils, so your body is going to want to produce more and it can over-produce the oils, making you feel gross. Replacing the oils with a gentle lotion keeps your oil production lower.

If that isn't an imaginative enough solution, try one of these alternatives:

The Science Fiction Solution
Needed items:

• laser
• laser instruction manual
• medical personnel
  
  Read instruction manual for laser, aim laser at zit, laser zit off.
  
  Warning: Laser may be hot and may also set off alarms somewhere in the vicinity.
  
  Use medical personnel for reconstructive facial surgery to cover up potential injury or scarring.

The Ninja Solution
Needed items:

• face mask*
  
  Put on face mask. Wear at all times. A ninja's zits must never be seen. They are as invisible as the wind.
  
  Warning: use of mask may cause invisibility - use caution when deciding to become a ninja, as it may cause friends and family to worry about where you are.

The Fantasy Solution
Needed items:

• Dragon*
• Healing witch or wizard
  
  *Dragon may be substituted with numerous items up to and including magic potions, various other creatures, swords, or abrasive rocks
  
  Use Dragon to remove zit.
  
  Warning: Use of Dragon may cause headlessness. Always follow proper precautionary measures when using.
  
  Use healing witch or wizard to repair damage caused by item or creature used to remove zit.

I hope you enjoyed this article and use it to its fullest potential. Note all cautionary measures...

Let me know what you think in the comments, especially if you have solutions of your own to share with people. :)