Publish A Book... Make millions

I've always wanted to publish a book. I've been writing since I could draw squigglies (very poorly - but still, they were my squiggly lines, and of course they looked like whatever I said they looked like). I think my earliest memory of writing was out on the porch one day of the little green house we used to live in. I had a notebook and a box of crayons (I still favor crayons for my artwork). I turned to my dad and I said, "I wrote a book, daddy. Want to read it?" 

And of course, my dad took the notebook and said, "I can't read." I wasn't a brilliant child at that point, so there were no words to the story. (I like to think I'm brilliant now, but that is debatable.)

I told him, "That's okay. I made it pictures for you. I'll read it to you." And I read him the story about a strawberry man superhero.

And of course at the end of a story filled with potential paradoxes and conspicuous coincidences, my dad grabbed another beer and told me, "You'll be a best selling author one day. And then you can take care of me." And he kissed the top of my head and went to do whatever it was that my dad had to do out in the garage. 

It's been more than two decades now, and I have made it to being a published author. You can see my book in print. It has a nice cover--exactly the cover I dreamed up when I decided I wanted to publish that particular story, even. ("My Life As Your Sister" cover Courtesy of Eric Baierl for the photography and Jeff Chen for the cover design. Thank you, guys! I give you public displays of affection ((hugs)) through cyberspace!)

But for as much as I would love to be a millionaire for publishing a book, simply getting your book out to a printer won't put money in your pocket unless you're that one person. I don't even know who that person is, but I would love to know them. Maybe they're a fictional character - I don't know. 

What I do know is there is a list of things that publishing does for you, and I'd like to share a few...!

• Publish a book... make millions of dollars of mistakes with editing
• Publish a book... make millions of dollars of design corrections
• Publish a book... make millions of dollars of personal contacts as you try to get the word out
• Publish a book... make millions of dollars of illustrations to go with and then decide to hire an illustrator, photographer, etcetera, because your stick figures are not going to cut it
• Publish a book... make millions of dollars of calculations on how to earn back all that you spent in design, editing, proofreading, illustrating, and printing costs

It's a silly little list, and I figured why not share it? Do you have any thoughts or additions to this list? Feel free to add it in the comments below! I'd love to hear them. Alternatively, I'd also love to hear your earliest memory of writing or reading, so go ahead and comment! Please, share this if you liked it.