That's right... party crashers.
Why am I talking about this? Maybe because recently I was asked something that came across a bit sexist. Even though I know the person who said it didn't intend for it to be sexist... Anyway... I was asked, "Hey, you're a woman... How do you deal with zits?"
Acne is something that can affect pretty much anyone however, and according to all the online medical websites I read so I could type this and sound smarter than I am, acne predominantly will affect men. I'm not here to write about how you should use this or that medical brand thing to deal with your acne. If it is bad enough, or a constant presence in your life, I recommend seeing a dermatologist who can recommend the right over-the-counter medicine or give you a prescription to help deal with it.
For those reading this who don't need a doctor at this point (although I recommend not putting it off if it is bad) you can try
The What I Do Solution
Needed items:
- soap that isn't harsh on the skin,
- fresh warm water,
- gentle lotion
wet face with warm water, lather soap on face, wash soap off face with water before bed 5-7 times per week as well as after potentially greasy meals like fast food.
dry face with clean towel, gently rub small amounts of lotion on face
wash pillowcase more frequently
If that isn't an imaginative enough solution, try one of these alternatives:
The Science Fiction Solution
Needed items:
- laser
- laser instruction manual
- medical personnel
Read instruction manual for laser, aim laser at zit, laser zit off.
Warning: Laser may be hot and may also set off alarms somewhere in the vicinity.
Use medical personnel for reconstructive facial surgery to cover up potential injury or scarring.
Needed items:
- face mask*
Put on face mask. Wear at all times. A ninja's zits must never be seen. They are as invisible as the wind.
Warning: use of mask may cause invisibility - use caution when deciding to become a ninja, as it may cause friends and family to worry about where you are.
Needed items:
- Dragon*
- Healing witch or wizard
*Dragon may be substituted with numerous items up to and including magic potions, various other creatures, swords, or abrasive rocks
Use Dragon to remove zit.
Warning: Use of Dragon may cause headlessness. Always follow proper precautionary measures when using.
Use healing witch or wizard to repair damage caused by item or creature used to remove zit.
Let me know what you think in the comments, especially if you have solutions of your own to share with people. :)
There's always the bookworm methods.
ReplyDeleteMethod 1
Needed items:
A book
Take book and open it. Hold it in front of face, close as if you really actually need glasses to read but are trying to avoid doing so, and spend the rest of the day engrossed in a book. Be warned-this method does take practice to avoid injury due to lamp posts, doors, door posts, people, newsstands, fire hydrants, sign posts, vehicles, ice, benches, decorative plants, chairs, tables, pets, and other various objects and animals that have the audacity to be in your way.
Method 2
Needed Items:
One or more books
A room with access to food, beverages, and the facilities. Comfortable seating and/or sleeping furniture recommended but not required.
Stay in and catch up on your reading while you wait for the THINGS on your face to go away. Drawbacks: it is eventually necessary to replenish your supplies, and said supplies require money. Money typically requires leaving room and venturing outside. This is a temporary measure at best.
Dragons also may cause slight skin burn. By slight I mean all the skin...and everything else might be burned. Use caution.
ReplyDelete