Have you ever worked in a factory? If you can answer yes to that question, then it is very likely you know that factory work can be like going to school with a hundred kids barely out of puberty. Rumors fly and gossip creates a sea of tears for the unprepared worker to drown in.
This topic is actually brought up by a work situation I find myself in. I work at a factory that is certainly not an exception to the rule. At one point or another, everyone will find themselves at the center of gossip for small groups or even large groups. For me, it has happened before (because I cut my hair). And this week it happened again (because I've been wearing make up).
So I just wanted to take a moment to vent a bit about the situation.
I am a female. I work in a factory that is primarily male dominated so I let it slide (mostly) when people questioned why I would cut off 13 inches of hair last year. (I donated it for wig making).
Many of the questions I received were similar to this:
"Is everything okay?"
And when I reacted with confusion because everything was never better, the response was this:
"Well, I just thought something was wrong. Girls only cut their hair when something happens. Did you break up with your boyfriend?"
Uhhh... first of all, let me clarify... While some girls have changed drastically in style after a bad or traumatizing event, not every girl needs an excuse to change themselves. Wait, let me rephrase that better... We don't need to excuse ourselves for changing. We change, for better or for worse, because it was our choice to do so. We had a real nice hair style, complete with long locks that added on five minutes of rinsing time in the shower? It added on 10 extra minutes of blow drying, and another 30 minutes to style it? Okay, maybe I dramatize my time frame, but most guys have short hair and no need to use so much as a brush, much less a blow dryer. I was very hot, my hair didn't want to stay up at work one day, so I took a scissors to it. End of story. Donate and be done.
But I received so much concern afterwards because clearly something was wrong. I can't have just cut my hair for no reason. And no amount of reassuring my coworkers would seem to convince them I was fine.
Now this week, and part of last week, I began doing my make up again. And why not? I own the make up, I like the way I look with it on, but suddenly speculations are going around. Something changed, I must be dating, any reason I've given as to why I wear it is obviously fishy. Because women don't wear make up without a man in their life.
Can I get a HAHAHAHAHAHAHA? Now repeat that laugh, only... make it sound more hysterical...manic...
If I have learned one thing about women in my life purely by being a woman, it is that we are unpredictable. You will get comfortable with us one way and then we will pull the rug from under you, throwing a curve ball that you should have expected but didn't because it was so unlike us.
I don't need to rant all night on this, but I do want to say this:
I don't know a single woman who changes who she is based on someone else's needs, wants, opinions... how we cut or color or style our hair is a personal choice. We wear make up not to please some significant other, but instead to please ourselves. We pick our clothes because they're comfortable. Because they make us feel confident, or sexy, or beautiful to ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we might ask another person how we look, but in truth the words are just an utterance. We have already asked ourselves and we're either satisfied or not. If not, we're already changing because it makes us happy.
Women change themselves to provide a measure of control over themselves too. We take pride in our appearance, our hygiene. We shave our legs and armpits because armpit hair itches, and because that hot summer night, we wore only a night shirt to bed and didn't like the feeling of our prickly legs.
We wear make up to work at a factory because there was nothing that could stop us from doing so (except maybe running out of make up).
If it is my body, my hair, my face... I think I know better than you do about what I do to it and why.
Do you agree? Disagree? Feel free to comment on why down below in the comments!
As someone who works in a retail location that asks to see people's licenses with the use of credit/debit cards, I'm in a unique position to say that men are quite different when it come to appearances. Nine times out of ten, a woman does not have the same hair style as she does in her license. On the other hand, nine times out of ten men do.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Men tend to find something easy that works. If they change, it is in fact because something has changed for them, at least typically in my experience. Take my dad for example-he pretty much had the same hair cut for decades until he met my step mom. Some time into it, he decided to grow a beard, albeit a short one, along with changing his hair style. Why? Because my step mom suggested it and liked it, and my father just didn't care that much. It made her happy and wasn't a trouble for him, so why not? My brother used to live in white t-shirts and jean or khaki pants. No joke...just white t-shirts. What changed? He got married, and my sister-in-law started adding color to his wardrobe.
It's logical for men to think that changes in appearance coincide with changes in ones personal life, because for the most part there tends to be a catalyst for them to change. Women, on the other hand, typically like to change things up every so often. I'm not big on a lot of fuss with my appearance-when my hair is short, I don't like using product and when it's long unless there is a special event my hair tends to be in a pony tail or a bun. But I do change every few years between short and long hair, just for something different. Women with more interest change how they will more frequently, a form of self-expression, practicality, or whatever reason they have. We don't do it randomly, for the most part, but it doesn't take as much of a reason for us to change things around as it might sometimes for men. Often, it's just because we feel like it and why not?
I think, in the end, it's just a difference between men and women's thinking about personal appearances. Men think, "Why mess with what works?" Women think, "Why not?" There's no real problem with either line of thinking, and it isn't always down to strictly being women versus men either. Whatever makes you happy and fits into your lifestyle and monetary situation, great. Just don't assume that your reasons are another person's. Feel free to ask-but don't tell them they're wrong. It's their life and their body, and so their business. If someone tells you something about themselves, take them at their word. That is where they are right now. It might change in five years. It might not for fifty. Either way they have no obligation to live up to or fulfill your expectations and beliefs.
I don't think people should ask. It isn't their business why someone changed styles.
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